“I Wanna Talk Tonight, Until the Morning Light”

“You and me see how we are, you and me see how we are”….Fooking love that song, one moody song!

Well no real developments on the Ginge front, although popped in the pub at lunch yesterday for a coffee after work and she was in, dud some tree felling for the land lady today, had a quick pint when I’d finished, blow me she came in. Cant complain as I do like to oggle at her, not in a weird way or anything but she is truly gorgeous but I’m starting to think that she’ll be starting to think Im stalking her. I did send a “Morning” text first thing that she’s not read. However,┬áand I dont know why I do this to myself, gotba possible date with J over the weekend, now she does text back ­čśë

Ive become a bit of a bugger for morning texts, I’m sure I’m not the only person that likes them, but I love recieving them as it sets me up for the day. I always send a good morning to a selection of friends each day, I hope it makes their day, it certainly makes me feel better for being nice to others.

As I now live on my own and have done now for nearly two years its still difficult to adjust to waking up on your own in an empty house. After a 17 year relationship, you get used to that first thing in the morning and last thing at night interaction. Well I say that but the number of times I slept on the settee or the spare room during those would make for an intersting comparison to establish the ratio of nights actually spent in the same bed. I remember getting 3 days of the silent treatment coupled with bunking down on the settee because as the junior fixture secretary for the Rugby club we were both involved with, I couldnt get her team a fixture at short notice due to a late cancellation of the original fixture. There were loads of other stupid incidents that also lead to the same silent treatment. Thinking about it, I may do a whole blog about them.

Back to the texting thing anyway, I spent 17 years of tucking the kids in bed and tearing my hair out trying to get them out of it in time for school as they got older. Nonetheless there was always someone there first thing in the morning, that first interaction of the day, granted some mornings they could set your day off in the wrong way, but still, human interaction. Due to the nature of my work as a self employed sports coach, some days would see me in 3 or 4 different schools, straight in teach, straight out, no real interaction. Then back home to an empty house and at the time no real close friends to meet up with.

NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF A TEXT.

I’d started using Plenty of Fish and Zoosk, the dating sites, think Ive mentioned it in previous posts, so wont bang on about it. Strangely I found it opened a whole world of new people, some fucking odd ones, but I did meet one lady A, with whom we both clicked, loads of texting, bit of flirting, went on a few dates, bit of a snog but no further. She got me into watching box sets throughout the winter months, Game of Thrones and a couple of others. Just the time spent talking through text meant so much at the time, someone cared, someone thought about you first thing in the morning, throughout the day and before bed.

A, eventually met someone else as I wasn’t ┬áready for anything heavy, so I spent a while finding other people to talk to through said dating sites. To be fair I probably never wanted to meet most of them, but it was still company, cyber company, but still company!

A, popped back up in the new year as she was single again, we dated a couple of times, slept together once but that was that. She again met someone else, who messed her about so I became her shoulders to cry on, then out of the blue, blocked me from all media…strange bloody woman, but thank you anyway!

I suppose my message to anyone reading this going through something similiar, is never give up, yes times are shit, you may be lonely, you may even see no reason to carry on…yes, Ive been there…but there are people out there who will send that text, that will inspire you on to new things. (Just dont rely on my crush Ginge to send you one!) Ive met several really good friends on dating sites, it would never work as relationships, but friendships, hell yes, fuck sake we are all human, we all desire the same if not similiar goals in life.

I read a book recently, first one ive picked up in years, Mans Search for Meaning by Viktor E Frankl, he was a Psychologist interned in concentration camps during the second world war. Its not a holocaust story,  but the story of, despite the atrocities, explaining how men and women adapted and survived physically but above all mentally throughout it all. The book contains many useful quotes and foresights but my favourite which really stood out is,

I saw the truth as it is set into song by so many poets, proclaimed as the final wisdom by so many thinkers. ┬áThe truth – that love is the ultimate and the highest goal to which man can aspire.

Well it is, isnt it surely?

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